20 funny Robert Mugabe quotes on relationship and lifestyle

The late former Zimbabwean President, Robert Mugabe has become famous – especially in Ghana through funny quotes which have been attributed to him.

He is one person who is known for saying whatever is on his mind so though most of the quotes are not really said by him, people use his name for the fun of it.

Here are 20 funny quotes of  Mugabe, which can be related to relationship and lifestyle.
  1. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than sending it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.
  2. It’s every man’s dream to remove a lady’s pants one day but not when it’s on a drying line.
  3. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don’t walk with X-Rays to see inner beauty.
  4. Dear ladies, if your boyfriends didn’t wish you a happy Mother’s Day, you should stop breastfeeding them.
  5. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father.
  6. Whenever things start going on well in your life, the devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend.
  7. Women with beauty and no brains, it’s your private part that suffers the most.
  8. Some girls of today can’t jog for five minutes, but they expect a guy to last in bed with them for two hours. Your level of selfishness demands a one-week crusade.
  9. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.
  10. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The only problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.
  11. All I hear is “NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE”. If that was God’s plan then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.
  12. It’s hard to bewitch an African lady these days. Every time you take a piece of her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.
  13. Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with the evidence that you have had sex.
  14. It is better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny him a hole she didn’t drill.
  15. We are living in a generation where lovers are free to touch each other’s private parts but cannot touch each other’s phone.
  16. Virginity is the best gift any man would like to receive from his newly wedded wife but these days there is nothing as such because it will have already been given as birthday gift, employment seeking token and examination high score token.
  17. If you are a husband and finds yourself being interested in a schoolgirl, buy your wife a school uniform.
  18. Ladies never trust or love a guy who texts you “I MISS YOU” only when it’s raining because you are not an umbrella.
  19. Keep every part of your towel clean because the part that cleans your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.
  20. If you have attended 200 weddings and you are still single you are not different from a canopy.

This story was done by Ghanafuo contributor, Godfred Boahene

In the news
Load More